Not feeling the magic
Last week we had our monthly checkup and got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time (much louder than I ever expected it to be; that was a surprise). The good: I'm healthy, baby seems to be doing fine, I don't have any STDs (they test for everything in that blood test). The not-as-good: I lost 2.5 pounds since the last checkup and apparently the scale is supposed to go in the opposite direction. Will have to work on that.
I'm at 11 weeks now, which means that in a couple more weeks I'll be officially done with the first trimester. Everyone says the second trimester is when you start to feel better, and I'm almost afraid to hope that they're right. And things haven't even been that bad for me compared to a lot of pregnant woman, but I'm still so tired of the low-grade nausea day after day, the hypersensitive nose (I caught a whiff of KFC a block away the other day and almost threw up), and of course the exhaustion.
This weekend was particularly miserable. I did manage to accomplish the amazing feats of one load of laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning the refrigerator. And I watched two discs of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. And moaned quite a bit.
But see, the good news is that today I feel sort of... normal. I woke up this morning and my mind was fairly lucid. I actually began to think about the week ahead of me instead of burrowing my face into the pillow. My stomach only hurts a little, and only since lunchtime. Maybe I'm just having a good day but maaaaybe I really am headed for second trimesterland.
I know a lot of women say they love being pregnant, but I'm just not there yet. I hope I do get there. In theory, it's an amazing and special experience. In practice, so far it feels sort of like abuse.
Comments
My friend Elise (who is in delivery right now, in fact, taking a little nap thanks to her epidural) had a similarly rough time including losing weight and then dealing with heightened sensitivity and all-day, low-grade nausea.
In other words, you are not alone.
Also, I feel the need to occasionally open my big mouth and remind you to give yourself a break. You're doing important business here.
Posted by: jane | 5:33PM, 06.30.08
In my experience (that is to say, my wife's experience) Semester 2 is less barfy but slightly, uh, heavier, than Semester 1.
Also, you get to clean the refrigerator and watch Buffy? Not fair - can I be pregnant too please?
Posted by: simon | 4:46AM, 07.01.08
Well, I certainly hope things improve for you as you move into the second trimester. In my wife's two pregnancies that was the case, and she was able to settle in and feel okay with the fact each time that a small mammal was growing inside her. Not exactly 'the magic', but a certain livability arose.
Posted by: sgazzetti | 5:51AM, 07.01.08
Jane: Misery loves company is sort of sadistic, yet sort of true. Also, you'd be proud of the low expectations I've been having of myself lately. Mostly I just want to feel better so I can feel better.
Simon: I think I can deal with heaviness much better than barfiness. We'll see, though. If it was in my power to allow you to experience pregnancy, I would definitely make it so.
Sgazetti: Livability sounds like a great goal to shoot for, as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by: andrea | 4:48PM, 07.01.08