I've just recently become aware that I have this neurosis about wanting to do things in the proper order, and I think it extends to many aspects of my life. What ends up happening is that if I get stuck and can't (or don't) accomplish one thing, I just don't move forward to the next thing and I end up in limbo for who knows how long. It occurs to me that, for a supposedly creative person, I'm apparently pretty linear.

It sounds like a strange reason, but this is really why I haven't updated this site in so long. I wanted to post dazzling photos and stories of my trip to Ireland. But I've only uploaded one day's worth of photos to Flickr. Other things keep coming up and I keep telling myself once I finally get around to those photos, I'll post something. After a while, I just sound like I'm making excuses, and that's something I'm growing to dislike doing even more than I dislike doing things in the wrong order.

So I've finally come to the conclusion that I have to learn to break out of this kind of thinking because it makes me feel stuck and it often prevents me from accomplishing things (again, I'm referring to many more important things in my life than whether or not I update this site).

So, now's as good a time as any. I'm currently sitting in a hotel that's way too uppity for me, in Pasadena, California. I have a view of palm trees and misty mountains and lots of green. It's a bit surreal. Last week, I suddenly got an opportunity to attend the Art Center Design Conference, which starts today. After reading the list of speakers, I jumped at the chance. Never mind that things at work seem to be imploding (it's been a week of Mondays) and I have deadlines I don't know how I'll make now that I'm missing three days of work. Never mind that I was in the middle of a home improvement project that has been put on hold because of this, or that I had to cancel plans with a friend who I've neglected too much lately anyway. I know that all those things will get done, even if they don't get done in the way I'd planned (I never knew I'd grow up to be such a control freak).

It feels weird to be doing things in the wrong order. Weird but sort of good, like when your muscles hurt from exercising, but not so badly that you know you've been injured.

Anyway. I've heard that some of the talks from this conference will be posted on the TED website. I'll link to them if and when I find out about that.