I've been having a mysterious, sporadic problem with my right eye lately. And no, it's not pinkeye. Some mornings I will wake up with a hideously red eye, but not uniformly so. The redness is confined just to the part of the eye that would be exposed to the elements if my eye were open a normal amount (i.e., not all bug-eyed). I go to bed with happy eye, wake up with angry eye.

Look at this picture of my eye from last night right before bed. Notice the white of my right eye looks, well, white.

But I woke up this morning with an eye that could scare small children. I can just see people trying not to wince visibly when they're talking to me and looking me in the eye. I think I've induced eye-watering incidents in more than one person today.

I can only conclude that I must be sometimes sleeping with one eye open. Why else would just this one stripe of red when I wake up? Clearly, I don't trust either my husband or my cats and I'm on guard even while I sleep.