He chases his tail vigorously, often spending several minutes just glaring at it, sighing and occasionally hissing in its direction.
The only way we can take him to the vet for his annual checkup is to give him a hefty dose of Acepromazine (aka, kitty tranq). This causes him to stumble around drunkenly purring, with his inner eyelids partway across his eyes. It's both heartbreaking and hilarious but, most importantly, it helps him to not scream bloody murder and soil himself in terror at the vet's office.
A bizarre side effect we've noticed in the several years we've been giving him this drug is that it seems to have a permanent effect on his mood. Each year after taking him to the vet, he's been noticeably less anxious when we've had friends or family over. His hissing and growling has diminished, not slowly over time but instead in stages, each time after a visit to the vet. Makes me wonder what he'd be like if we gave him this drug more often (an experiment that will not be carried out, thank you).
If we play with the laser pointer, he likes it at first but after a while he starts acting paranoid. Twitching and jerkily looking all around as though the SPIDERS! THEY'RE ALL OVER HIM! GET THEM OFF, GET THEM OFF! It takes him at least an hour to get over the jumpiness. We don't play with the laser pointer anymore.
He chews everything and excessively licks furniture and doors.
I'm quite sure Indy is beyond weird and is a mentally ill cat. But he's our mentally ill cat.
So sometime while I was in Ireland, one of my coworkers (hi, L!) found my Twitter name which obviously wasn't difficult because I used my standard email address in my Twitter account. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to go from there to here because I put this URL in my Twitter account as well.
I was expecting said coworker (or one of several others who also use Twitter) to say something about this, but so far there has not been a comment. I suspect this has something to do with the fact that a different one of my coworkers found a previous website of mine years ago in kind of an odd way and it spooked me enough that it probably was one element in the later demise of that website.
Now, there is nothing inherently secretive about this website. I don't say anything here that I wouldn't say elsewhere. I haven't hidden it from friends or family or anyone. I just don't advertise it because for some reason I can't quite fathom, it embarrasses me. I get very self-conscious about it. Which seems like an impossible thing; after all, what's more public than a place where my every word will be cached and accessible even if I decided to delete it yet again? But it is what it is.
It's funny because another one of my coworkers has a blog she shares with her husband and she's totally cool about it. I read the blog and I talk about it with her on a weekly basis and it's just not a big deal. Yet in all the time that I've been reading her blog, I haven't even mentioned that I had one. If I were her, I'd think that was pretty odd, and a bit awkward.
It is what it is.
Well, instead of getting cold feet, I thought I'd just take a second to say hi to any coworkers who happen to come by here. Don't worry, coworkers, you can talk to me about my website. I probably won't have anything insightful to say about it because I really don't know why I have it. More than anything else, I think it's because part of my job is to make websites, and it would feel odd to not have one of my own. It's sort of comforting to know it's here and I can use this space to play around with anything I want. Even if I can never find the time for it, I like just knowing it's here.
I've just recently become aware that I have this neurosis about wanting to do things in the proper order, and I think it extends to many aspects of my life. What ends up happening is that if I get stuck and can't (or don't) accomplish one thing, I just don't move forward to the next thing and I end up in limbo for who knows how long. It occurs to me that, for a supposedly creative person, I'm apparently pretty linear.
It sounds like a strange reason, but this is really why I haven't updated this site in so long. I wanted to post dazzling photos and stories of my trip to Ireland. But I've only uploaded one day's worth of photos to Flickr. Other things keep coming up and I keep telling myself once I finally get around to those photos, I'll post something. After a while, I just sound like I'm making excuses, and that's something I'm growing to dislike doing even more than I dislike doing things in the wrong order.
So I've finally come to the conclusion that I have to learn to break out of this kind of thinking because it makes me feel stuck and it often prevents me from accomplishing things (again, I'm referring to many more important things in my life than whether or not I update this site).
So, now's as good a time as any. I'm currently sitting in a hotel that's way too uppity for me, in Pasadena, California. I have a view of palm trees and misty mountains and lots of green. It's a bit surreal. Last week, I suddenly got an opportunity to attend the Art Center Design Conference, which starts today. After reading the list of speakers, I jumped at the chance. Never mind that things at work seem to be imploding (it's been a week of Mondays) and I have deadlines I don't know how I'll make now that I'm missing three days of work. Never mind that I was in the middle of a home improvement project that has been put on hold because of this, or that I had to cancel plans with a friend who I've neglected too much lately anyway. I know that all those things will get done, even if they don't get done in the way I'd planned (I never knew I'd grow up to be such a control freak).
It feels weird to be doing things in the wrong order. Weird but sort of good, like when your muscles hurt from exercising, but not so badly that you know you've been injured.
Anyway. I've heard that some of the talks from this conference will be posted on the TED website. I'll link to them if and when I find out about that.
One more day and then we're off to Ireland. The last few days have been a rollercoaster. I'm usually a basketcase before flying anywhere simply because of the whole phobia thing and probably some control-freakishness thrown in there for good measure (the astute among you would probably connect the control-freakishness to the flying phobia and you would probably be right). Add in my total inexperience with transcontinental travel and I'm extra fun.
Today I've been obsessively cleaning the house, which is a nice way to deal with nerves because then you have a clean house. If it hadn't been raining out, I'm pretty sure I would have been hanging out of the windows trying to clean the outsides of them. It's probably good that it was raining.
I'm proud that I've managed to plan and get ready for this entire trip over the last couple of months without crying once. Even tonight when in flash of insight, I suddenly realized that we'd booked our hotel rooms all wrong. We leave on April 8th, but we don't arrive in Ireland until the morning of April 9th. But we had based our entire itinerary on arriving on April 8th. So it turns out we're booked for a hotel room one night before we actually arrive, and it's now too late to cancel that room. Hooray for wasted money and feeling like a complete idiot.
The worst part of that realization is that our carefully planned itinerary is now different. The horror. I've been planning for and looking forward to this particular itinerary. An itinerary that involves arriving in Dublin and having the entire next day to explore and recuperate from our flight before we go all the way across the country to Galway. Now we have to travel across the country the day after we arrive, giving us no time to catch our breath. Change is bad!
However. Part of this point of this entire trip is to get me to do something exciting and memorable and unpredictable, so I know logically that I need to be okay with this little hiccup, because it will probably be the first of many hiccups in the next couple of weeks. So I am taking deep breaths (but not to the point of hyperventilating, thank you very much) and I am not crying. I think this is a good first step.
Hi!
I bought a little collection of bulbs on the first day of spring because it made me feel better to know that there would be something green and flowery growing near me because heaven knows nothing will be green or flowery outside for far too long, there being a snowstorm on the first day of spring and all (and the day after that and the day after that).
This is what it looked like when I bought it last Thursday:
Then I had a day off on Friday, was sick on Monday and when I came back on Tuesday, the thing was in full bloom. EXCELLENT.
T minus 13 days until I leave for Ireland.
You don't want to hear about how I've been fighting off the evil chest cold that's picking off each of my coworkers one by one (because mostly that just involves sleeping every minute of the day that's available for sleeping). So instead I'll post a recipe, since I've been intending to share more recipes lately.
This soup is really healthy, really easy to make, and feels good on a sore throat. Also, I think if you were to add a bit of pasta and maybe some carrots or other veggies, you'd have a lovely minestrone.
Tomato and White Bean Soup
serves 4-5
- 1 can white beans (I used Great Northern beans. Yum.)
- 1 can diced tomatoes (Muir Glen organic fire roasted tomatoes add a really nice flavor)
- 2 stalks celery, finely chopped
- 1 cup diced onion
- 1 1/2 cups vegetable stock
- 1-2 tsp chopped fresh basil
- 1 tsp thyme
- 1 tsp paprika
- salt and pepper to taste
Cook onions, celery and spices (stirring frequently) in 1/2 cup of the vegetable stock over med-high heat in soup pot for about five minutes or until onion is tender. Add rest of ingredients, cover and simmer for about a half-hour, until beans are soft.
Working all day on a Saturday is a bummer.
Working all day on a Saturday with a noisy St. Patrick's Day parade going by right outside the building is a bummer plus a headache.
It was cute for the first half-hour or so. But this parade has been going on for two and a half hours now. Before the headache set in, I did step outside and get a few photos of the festivities, though:
, originally uploaded by AMK.
I've gotten to see Morristown, NJ today both from street level and from above and I have to say I like it better from above. The rooftops of Morristown are strangely photogenic.
Everything seems a bit surreal to me today. I'm about a week into a bout of bad insomnia. Last night was by far the worst because the hotel room I'm staying in has a really loud heater. I can't decide if I should bother complaining and asking to switch rooms, because I have a feeling all of their rooms are like this and I'm almost too tired to contemplate packing up all my stuff and moving. I'm not sure I can stand another two nights of this, though.
Anyway, everything is kind of foggy today and yet somehow brighter than normal, in my sleep-deprivation-influenced state. It's akin to the surreal perceptions I have the day after a migraine. It's probably also influenced by the fact that I'm here in my pretend role as a photographer (sorry, I just find it impossible to think of myself as a real photographer even though I'm being paid to be one at this moment). So I've been behind the lens all day and I think that colors my perceptions of the world.
In summary: I don't really have anything to say, but that I'm in an unfamiliar place and things look strange to me from here. And that I need to allow myself to be in unfamiliar places more often because it's really good for me.
Ever since the beautiful new Minneapolis Central Library opened downtown, I've made it a point to walk down the the library once every week or two... when it's not winter. The walk across the river is far too windy and brutal during the cold months, so it's been ages since my last visit.
Today I took my first library trip of the season and it has cheered me unmeasurably.
I'm slowly emerging from my funk. I've just been incredibly negative lately and I don't have any good reasons to be negative. I'm far too hard on myself when it comes to pretty much everything. Add to that the monotony of winter and a big bad funk is born.
At least I'm aware of my issues, right?
It's not that nothing good has happened for me lately. I mean, I am going to Ireland. Ireland! I've never been farther afield than Vancouver or Cancun. Neither has Brad. Our trip is now less than a month away and we have everything planned and budgeted. I've been reading up on Irish writers and Irish history and getting ever more excited to go.
And in an attempt to save money for the trip and also to be more healthy, Brad and I have drastically curtailed our eating-out habit over the last month. This has had the result of not only saving us a significant amount of money, but I've also lost some weight and learned that I actually enjoy cooking on a regular basis. As a vegetarian, it turns out it's more satisfying to cook whatever I want than to go out to a restaurant and choose between one or two menu choices that don't really look that appealing anyway. Why didn't I think of that earlier?
I really should be posting some of the recipes I've come across lately because we've been having lots of culinary successes. And did I mention I can finally fit into my pants again? This is doing wonders for my ability to breathe. And my self-esteem.
So, anyway. Spring is around the corner and I think I'll survive that long.
Hi! Remember me? The one who hasn't posted in two weeks? And who hasn't been posting Flickr photos?
I'm still here.
The past two weeks I've been battling first a painful shoulder blade/upper back (I still don't know what I did to injure it), and then a nasty cold. I haven't felt like talking to much of anyone, including the internet at large. I think winter has gotten the better of me. I'm tired all the time, uninspired, and just sort of existing. The prospect of my upcoming Ireland trip is the only thing that's sustaining me these days.
It's not really that I'm depressed, because I don't feel depressed. I feel tired and uninspired. This is usually the part where I question my very existence -- why I'm here, what I'm doing, what's the point of it all. But to be honest, that's getting a little old because I never come up with any answers. Instead, I'm just trying to nurse myself back to health and be as good to myself as I can be until I can shake myself out of this hibernation. Because I know I will, one of these days.
In the meantime, my coworker gave some tulips to each person today to try to bring some spring into everyone's day. It couldn't have happened on a better day.
